Was at a release of a study of On-ramp and Up-ramp profesional women in India and as the presenter laid down their findings, a multitude of emotions take over - of familiarity, the study spoke of things known and felt as the constant nodding of heads in the room indicated; of reassurance, that I am not in this alone; of helplessness, knowing and feeling and not being able to shake it off; of hope, there are many in this together, questions have begun to be asked, answers must be round the corner...
And even as the experience gets me thinking in a million ways, it is hard to come of the shackles of reality that professional women face in India (and for that matter worldwide) today and it takes just one day to get a real taste of it. The 4 incidents below happened in a span of 24 hours around this event and they along with it sum it up very well..
Incident 1: A day before the event, as the oneleading the gender diversity initiative at my business unit, I, urge a senior woman leader to take some time out to attend the event the next day.. I am told that an important client is imminent and preparations are in full swing which is why she wouldn't be able to attend. The real reasons are laid out by another colleague at the lunch table in whom this senior lady had confided that she doesn't dig this concept of women getting together and bashing the men/the organizations/ the system/ the world and wouldn't want to be associated with such nari mukti morchas. She feels we are all equals and women needn't be given any "special treatment" or a diiferent thought in professional organizations. Now, I am trying really hard not to judge here but this one is not married and has no kids; and two, ironically, she is part of a sponsorship program that has a hand picked 20 high potential women who are being given the "special treatment" to help break the alleged glass ceiling.
Incident 2: I come out of the discussion all thinking and "open-minded" and bump into this ex-colleague, now with another organization. She first pities me on being with the same organization for so long with a near- accurate estimate of my tenure here and then proceeds to ask what I am up to these days. As I tell her I have moved from Operations to the Training function (more fashionably - the Learning & development function), with eyes rounder than the quiche on her plate she asks me if I am on a break. I am sorry, ok I am not, but, I lost it - with my dead pan-nest face and the iciest voice I ask her what she means. She goes on to explain unperturbed and in full earnest how the role must be less stressful and I have to in my most you-must-be-joking voice tell her that is definitely not the case. Lady, if I were on a break, I would not be there. There was a term in the study for such options that women take, the "scenic route".. right now though, I really miss the scenery..
Incident 3: Another colleague and I get talking at the reception laid down for the participants afterwards on the "pushes" and "pulls" that have women opting out of work force. She is my age, married with no kids and we discuss on how even in the absence of the "pulls", women feel "pushed". She tells me that in the last 2 years, she has been asked more than 10 times by HR representatitves on what her chid bearing plans are.. informally, of course. I am speechless..
Incident 4: I am back at home and take my girl to the play area. Chit-chatting with a couple of other mothers, one of them laments how her son wouldn't listen to the help she has at home to which the other one has her sumg analysis and revelation - the kids keep getting irritated the whole day not seeing their parents and that results in such behavior. The other one has to sheepishly remind her that she is longer works since the last one year and I am left to wonder if it was for me. I decide against it but the feeling doesn't leave of constantly being judged of the non-professional set, the society (my family included) and being made to feel less of a mother. I am sure I am guilty of prejudices I hold towards this group too....
